if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
