you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
