Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
