I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
