Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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