He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
