Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
