I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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