Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
