So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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