i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
