I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
