So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
