Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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