their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
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Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
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He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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