of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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