I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
