Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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