What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
