ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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