I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
