How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
