Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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