addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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