My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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