we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
