i'm signing you up for texting rehab
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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