You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
