you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize