No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Someone signed my nipple.
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