Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I could fuck to npr.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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