I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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