If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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