Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
