You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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