I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wear drunk well.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
