I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
