i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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