next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
cat food counts as protein by the way
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
