Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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