hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
