Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
