i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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