dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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