At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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