here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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