FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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