We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
