but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
