guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
In America we eat man semen.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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