last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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