I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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