well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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