I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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