One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
