she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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