People with herpes should wear stickers.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize