I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize