So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
