so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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