I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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