11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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