Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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