Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize