she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
