I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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