im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it because I queefed?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
