I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize